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Various Funnies
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The Gospel According to St. Titleist
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50 Shades of grey
Four guys have been going on the same golfing trip to St Andrews for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do? Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up! "Wow, Jack, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a very sexy little nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well, she's been reading '50 Shades of Grey'...... On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want." So here I am.



The Ambidextrous golfer
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Golf Lesson
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf".



Dedication and Focus
It was later reported that his wife got out safely, and that he did indeed par the hole. He says the divorce isn't going to be that bad, now that there's no house involved...

Golf Captains Society of KZN
P.O. Box 13255, Jacobs, 4026
Telephone: 031 467 1161 | Email: devlyn@devden.co.za
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